OPINIONATED

That’s me! 

This incident, from the early days in my new family, somehow comes forcefully to mind: my sister-in-law was throwing a party and there were a few first-time invitees.  She called me up and assigned me to one of them!  What for? To make the guest feel comfortable, at home, ‘not neglected’ – she would not know any of the others and it was my duty to break the ice!!  Well, that was certainly novel.  I had and have been - many times over – a first timer at many parties, but beyond a few introductions no one has ever looked after me in that kind of a special way.  One just sort of floated around till one either connected with a familiar face or a sympathetic group.  I was not too happy with the idea at the time, but looking back now, I realise what a lovely idea it was.  My sister-in-law was the perfect host and a caring one too.

Back to the present:  We have many first time visitors to our parish, either for their nuptials, funerals, particular events or choirs who are invited to participate in special liturgies.  They are ‘first-timers’ in an unfamiliar environment.  It would be so nice if one person, from the parish, were assigned to them, took care of them and made them feel ‘at home’.  It would also ensure that they become a part of who we are – the way we do things, what is acceptable and what is not.  I find the ‘outsider’ culture very prevalent in a parish, as it is in the corporate world.  We either cold shoulder or bark out instructions!

There is a quid pro quo involved too.  The welcomed should be accepting of the welcome!  Some visitors can be quite dismissive of any assistance; some even consider it interference!  Graciousness is both an art and a culture and no, it is not old fashioned!

Postscript: It is distressing, at least for me, that we sometimes come to know our ‘community’ members only in death.  I have played for quite a few funerals for members of the parish who are total strangers and not just to me!  It would be a good thing if community membership found invitation and acceptance among the living, in  gladness and not just in grief. 

The funeral I am playing for today, brought all this to mind.