Lost in Translation

Well, not exactly. It’s just that western names do not trip lightly off the Indian tongue, especially if that tongue is more used to communicating in the vernacular. This makes me ‘Windy’ to some, ‘Bhindi’ (the local name for Okra) to others and ‘Vedi’ (mad) to quite a few.

Then, in my absence, the ward boy takes the calls and tries to relay the message; it causes me quite a bit of head-scratching before I can unravel the conundrum: who was it who called?

Sometimes the hilarity is tinged with embarrassment. We had adopted a street-dog and christened him Buster after the four-legged member of Enid Blyton’s famous Five Find-outers and Dog. Buster was very popular with the local boys who chatted him up fondly whenever hubby took him out for a walk. Now, hubby is slightly deaf (a great advantage when I go on a spending spree) and he did not really pay attention to the exchanges with our four-legged house guest. The discovery was left to me, on the one occasion when I took Buster for his constitutional. As any dog-walker knows, every canine has his route and, as we stopped at Buster’s usual haunts, we were hailed with a loud and unmistakable, “Hi bastard, how are you? Come here!”

By the time I returned home, I was quite red in the face and it wasn’t from the exertion. Buster was promptly re-christened ‘Brownie’. His antecedents may not have been pedigreed, but he definitely had a mother and a father who were legal by canine standards and the earlier sobriquet certainly did not apply!

We do come across some unusual names from time to time – people striving for uniqueness for their offspring. According to a recent news item, the Hakki-Pikki people intentionally name their offspring after places and things: Gramophone, Train and Japan are not unusual. So, Paris (Hilton) and Chelsea (nee Clinton), though seemingly far removed, have something in common with a tribe from India!

Then there is the very tongue-in-cheek joke circling the Internet: asked to write his name in English, Sunder Lal Chhadda happily entered Lovely Red Knickers!

It is common for surnames to follow a profession or place and they have been handed down from generation to generation. But given names are chosen according to trends and tastes. Some, unfortunately, end up being an unintended encumbrance for the owner.

My mother chose my name for the Darling girl in Peter Pan. Little did she realise that others would rechristen me to connote a crazy, blustery lady’s finger!