Childhood yesterday, today, tomorrow?

Thunder and lightning greeted daybreak and looking up at the stormy skies, I waited for the deluge with anticipation. Sure enough, the rain came bucketing down, thrumming on the weather shades and splashing off the sills and panes. I revel in the noisy fanfare that heralds a goodly shower, thanks to remembered childhood tales of the Norse gods who threw thunderbolts or hammered enthusiastically on heavenly drums. The rain, of course, was the result of heaven’s floors receiving their annual wash down! There is a lovely anecdote which tells of a child looking up and smiling at every flash of lightning because ‘God was taking her picture’. It is incidents like these which recall a childhood filled with magical moments. And it is these moments that we carry through to adulthood even though we also belonged to the ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ generation.

Over the last few days, the newspapers have spoken to us of the death of a child – a little boy who committed suicide because he was caned by his headmaster. And as part of the media focus, a prominent columnist, a ‘bad girl’ by her own admission, has stated her point of view. No stranger to the Principal’s office, I too received my share of whacks: smarting palms, stinging calves and strident scolding were battle scars - of skin and ear - to be endured. And we are certainly here today to tell the tale with, perhaps, a hint of bravado? Suicide was definitely not on the agenda and despite the ignominy of the label and the cane, life was for living and living to the full.

So, why would a little boy want to throw away his life? Are today’s children more sensitive, more vulnerable? He brought stink bombs to the classroom which, in my time, would have been paid for by a good long kneel, on a very hard floor, hands to ears and copious tears. An additional whack from a parent for good measure reinforced the message that stink bombs were a no-no. Perhaps caning is also a no-no. But the trigger for suicide? Surely, there must be more than that.

Childhood begins in the home. That place where attitudes and abilities are formed and the armour to face the world is built up bit by bit. And home is where we need to look. Tragically, the life that has been lost cannot be brought back, but other parents can open up to the heartfelt message – cherish your child. A child that is well grounded and secure can communicate and be reassured in return. A child that is loved in a stable home environment will not blow out of proportion the anger, or punishment, meted out by an ‘outsider’. A child which can interact with its parents does not need to internalize fear. And a child that knows the rough and tumble of the real world, rather than the virtual one of television and video games, can face up to almost anything this nasty old world will certainly deliver.

Blame and shame are deterrents but not the solution. The solution lies in truth. A child is dead and with him the truth of the situation has also died. But there are other children with lives to be lived. And care and counseling of both child and caregiver will help them realise that wonderful truth.