Why is it that inspiration strikes in the most inconvenient moments? I get visited by a host of ideas either when I’m stirring onions on the stove, visiting the loo or dropping off to sleep; in any event, there is no keyboard to hand. By the time I’m able to boot the comp, the thoughts have flown and it is almost impossible to recapture the freshness of the original idea.
Today, I was musing over a number of happenings, emails, communications, conversations and things to do – a very usual beginning to my day. My first task since Lent began is to post, to our parish blog, a discourse on the readings of the day together with a prayer and an action plan – the work of a dynamic, straight-to-the-heart-of-the-matter, no-holds-barred priest in our parish. This gives me the opportunity to read twice over and reflect and also feel that twinge of discomfort. And I return to that endless question – why am I here? I look at others around me as they stride confidently into the day – purposeful in all that they do. They know exactly where they are going and what they will achieve.
When goals are material ones, they are easy to identify, to work towards and to realise (particularly if you believe that the universe conspires to give you your heart’s desire!!). But, if you are lucky, life hands out a reality check. Suddenly, you realise that there are other goals. Ones that are not so clear; in fact, they are a little blurry. Now, I step out diffidently, one feeling step at a time and I have to ask for guidance – is this where I place my foot? What is it that I am really called to do?
There is no thunderclap from the clouds, or a voice from heaven (today’s environment is very noisy compared to that of the Old Testament – noisy enough to muffle the thunderclap!). Instead, there will be an email with a request or a phone call regarding something that needs to be done, a request for involvement in a ministry, a cry from someone who is lonely or misunderstood, a visit to share joy or bring one another upto date. A signposted path and small steps that take me through the day.
And there are bonus strides: all the opportunities to share on Facebook and blogs the happenings and events, the interactions, the ability to use the written word and know that others read. To forward the message of the Gospels and to urge others to share it too – in thought, word and deed. To know that somewhere a seed is sown that might bear fruit. To recount examples and experiences of how some are making a difference. To feel God’s direction in my life (even though God does not always sound or look like I expect Him to!)Does this make me an internet evangelist? Is this my role? I’d love to think so!